BirthMass

A word about birthday gifts for people whose birthday falls between December 1st and January 31st. As tempted as you, the gift giver, may be, to give the birthday lad or lassie a gift wrapped in holiday paper (after all, you have SO much of it just lying around the house) here are some suggestions on alternative wrapping options. For all you people who are lucky enough to have been born in the other 10 months (aka: not December or January) you have never received a birthday present wrapped in Santa paper, have you? No, you have not.

So… the top 10 alternatives to Christmas wrap or Christmas themed gifts for December and January birthdays.

10. Newspaper: you can tailor the paper to your giftie - the Washington Post for the D’s and the Washington Times for the R’s, or the USA Today for those folks who aren’t affiliated – see how nicely that works?!

9. Tissue paper: often times there is white [never green or red] tissue paper lying around from the holiday gifts – this is acceptable to use.

8. Pages 62-74 of the Quadrennial Defense Review: No one will miss a few pages.

7. Order online: then presents come in unassuming brown boxes.

6. Blank cards: right next to the expansive Christmas section and just beyond the Hanukkah portion of the card shop is the tasteful ‘blank card’ section. We Holiday birthdays don’t really care what is on the card as long as it isn’t a picture of a cat in a Santa hat.

5. Phone calls: always a good option, quick, easy, and no holly or mistletoe involved.

4. Flowers: I hear they import all sorts of flowers, plants, small shrubbery from exotic places (like Ohio) none of which have needles, sap or berries. I suggest a daisy or tulip.

But back to wrapping…

3. Bows and Ribbons: just tie a bow around whatever it is you are giving. Again, never green or red, but white is a nice option and can generally be found on those holiday ribbon combinations. You know the ones I’m talking about… they come on one roll with green and white and red and you use your scissors to make the ends all curly in Martha Stewart-esque fashion.

2. Cellophane or clear plastic bags: (No, not the zip locks) Simply put the gift in the bag and tie some of that aforementioned white ribbon around the top and wha-la.

1. ACTUAL BIRTHDAY WRAPPING PAPER: novel concept I realize. Try it, you may like it (like green eggs and ham) and it will make your birthday person very happy indeed. Trust me on this one. We have to deal with all of the Birthday/Christmas combined presents (or as I like to call them BirthMass) that a little clear cellophane, news print and a white ribbon or two will go a long, long way.